It’s a no duh to point out that all too frequently social media can bring out the worst in people. I spent years, I don’t know a decade or so, being somewhat sarcastic myself and mixing it up on running or tangentially related message boards. Typically not so much about running itself but politics, culture wars, and sometime it was just personality clashes. I think I have mellowed, but for the longest time I kept at it on Letsrun.com. The trolling and just plain meanness of spirit there are nearly unmatched unless you look at 4-Chan or the comments on Fox News, or the Yahoo News feed (all of which only peak at once every few years. But Letsrun would draw me in with running news, training threads, and some of the latest scuttlebutt and gossip. That part is okay I suppose, but the pervasive drumbeat–perpetuated by the moderators and site owners themselves–is unavoidable even if you try to stick to running only (I have tried!).
So Letsrun had been my guilty displeasure. A site I loved to hate.
However, even for the thickest skin its toxicity is too much. So I pulled the plug in December and haven’t looked back. At the same time, for similar but opposite reasons I stopped posting on another site I have frequented for quite some time. It was a spinoff from an old Coolrunning.com forum, a site that was quite active for about a decade starting the late 1990s. Some, folks there have known each other for 25 years! It’s kind of the anti-letsrun, with politically and socially opposite stances, but anymore just a few dozen regulars. I contributed for a good 15 years but as a later arrival never quite fit in. I was a moderator for many years but quit that as well. I’m also done with the CH. Wish ’em well.
It’s nice to have a supportive and engaged running community, but I don’t know if one exists for me. Probably it’s not them (users who frequent these places) it’s me. I’m older for one thing and I think that makes people uneasy. As of today, I’m officially on Medicare. Turning 50 or 60 was kind of a joy. It was so fun to take on the new challenges of a new decade. Likewise, 55 was fine I was on a roll, particularly with cross country skiing at the time. However, I also had some epic races (shattering the course record at the venerable Equinox Marathon–known as “Alaska’s oldest and toughest” not once but twice.
65 is different, it’s officially senior citizenship. Anyway, I’m not cool, never did fit in with the cool crowd. I’m not quitting that scene, and I’ll encourage others along the way, but I just don’t want to put anything out there about me as a person anymore, or even much as a runner. Done that for awhile, but what works for others doesn’t seem to be working on my end. In college, I remember friends (or where they frenemies?) that people seemed to bounce off me. So must be something about my personality and how I interact with others.
So not done on those venues, but limited in scope and measured. That said, my blog here is mine. I can put some stuff here, a site which is hardly even read.
What about real life? Yeah that too. I have been on a competitive masters team for the past 6 years and it’s wearing. My better friends from the earlier days have moved on, gotten injured or battled long-term health issues. And the travel budget is now meager, and the club is nickle and diming us for time, ancillary commitments, and even prize earnings. However, that’s actually the small stuff. More at issue is the dreaded T-word.
Toxicity.
I don’t need people throwing digs my way. As a young man I was an easy target and I put up with a lot. After my early 20s I built an amount of distance in relationships, and have kept that. Now, I have no tolerance for subtle or not-so-subtle digs or interpersonal challenges. For example, passive aggressive remarks on social media or while going to a race or on a run. Or simply a bit of one-upmanship in everyday conversation. Kind of like a dominance thing, like a dog pissing to mark its presence.
With that my exit will have to be quiet and and subtle, maybe passive, in its own right. I don’t like confrontation. Participate less and fade out. Eventually, I’ll have to say it, that I don’t want to be on the competitive team anymore. End of this year.
Meanwhile, looking forward to some big races! 25K road in Michigan in May is my primary race this spring.
rrunnin234 